God is in the small things.

There was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before God, but God was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but God was not in the fire; and after the fire, a sound of a gentle breeze. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle

- – I Kings 19:11-13

God is in the small things.

Back in November or maybe December, I bought a ring to propose to Tracy with. I had been praying and discerning a long time before then as to whether I was really being called to marriage; “It’s a big step!” everyone says. In buying the ring, I hoped to help myself figure out if and when marriage was going to happen for me. I didn’t have a master plan for when, where, and how to propose. I figured I would continue to pray on it and God would make a suggestion at some point. I kept the ring in a deposit box. Sometimes when an event would come up though, I would take it out of seclusion and think maybe this is it, the time to propose. Fancy dinners, Tracy’s birthday, concerts, were all occasions I would to think to myself, “this could be the time to do this.”

Recently Tracy and I took a trip to Montreal and New York. It had been a fairly hectic year and we were both eager to get some relax time. I thought maybe an opportunity would present itself while there to make an elaborate and impressive proposal; everyone back at home would be so jealous of my romantic capabilities, I was sure. I brought the ring with me and kept it in my pocket everywhere we went, keeping a sharp eye out for that one moment where something big and impressive would happen.

There was one day in particular I was excited about. Tracy and I were walking about Montreal checking out the proverbial ‘local color’ and there were a number of events going on that day. FrancoFolies, a French only music festival, was in full swing on this day. We went to check it out and were greeted to a sea of dancing people, bobbing their heads and side stepping to a lively African beat provided by Bassekou Kouyate. After watching them we headed over to another tent where an artist was getting ready to play. This artist had an even larger crowd eager to listen to him. I began to think that this might be the moment: this was a foreign country, there were tons of happy people, and French music would be playing; everyone knows French music is the most romantic kind. Mostly. Fred Fortin came on stage and proceeded to unleash the gloomiest, roughest most cacophonous, music I have ever heard from a frenchman. They are usually so charming and delightful when given the chance to sing. Tracy turned to me and said, “This music is so depressing.” This wasn’t the “it” moment I had planned.

It was OK though, we weren’t even half way through the vacation yet, and one of the best parts was coming up. Every summer, Montreal hosts an international fireworks competition (if you can believe such a thing exists). Every Saturday a different international team displays their pyrotechnic prowess over the St. Lawrence River for all the Quebecois to see. Italy was set to perform this day, and they had an orchestra to accompany the display. Tracy loves fireworks. I felt sure that this would be the moment. We left the FrancoFolies festival headed to see this firework display, when some rain drops began falling. Montreal is subject to sudden torrential downpours at random intervals. We were about a 30 to 40 minute walk from our hotel and we did not have an umbrella. We decided not to stay for the fireworks and made a quick walk to our hotel.

It was getting late and seemed as though this was not THE day that I had thought it would be, which was fine for me. I had been waiting and discerning for six months, I could be made to wait longer.

We got back to the hotel and headed to the kitchen. This hotel possessed an incredible style. Situated on the second story of a down town triplex built somewhere in the 1930s, there were old hardwood floors; strong but not bright yellow walls covered in various by Montreal natives depicting flowers and country homes; and white Victorian-esque furniture. All these elements combined to create a quaint artsy environment, that several times left me thinking, “This place is so neat, why don’t we have anywhere like this at home?”

The kitchen had a pantry of food that guests had left from previous visits. Tracy and I rummaged through it and discovered some cappuccino mix with labels indicating that it was from Italy; it must therefore be very good. We brewed some up and pilfered some sugar cubes from the cupboard which we stirred in to the coffee; coffee is much more fun with sugar cubes. We took our coffee to the dining table, pulled out the books we had been reading and proceeded to have a “quiet night in.”

While reading and sipping on my very authentic, Italian cappuccino, a feeling of peace came over me as I absorbed the scene before me: unique hotel setting, simple relaxing coffee and reading time, and of course I was enjoying it all with Tracy. I thought about how during the day I was so concerned with finding the big grandiose moment in which to propose that I had neglected the little moments like this that made things so great, that made me feel at peace. Father James Martin wrote in his book, A Jesuits Guide to Everything, that we should pay close attention to our feelings, God is often talking to us through them. So I did, and in a little Triplex in downtown Montreal while sipping on coffee and reading a book with Tracy I proposed.

In retrospect, I realize this may be somewhat of an anticlimactic proposal, it didn’t have the big elements that we see in all the movie films. I wasn’t in a suit and tie, I didn’t perform the big romantic gesture, and I didn’t give the big moving speech before “popping the question.” But the more I think about it, the more I am glad at how things went. I understand better that we live in the real world and not the world imagined up in movies, that give an inflated and materialistic view of what a marriage should be. I think they are trying to sabotage us into forgetting something very important.

God is in the small things.

On a train ride leaving Montreal, I was thinking about having proposed and how it went down, etc, etc, and I realized how much it paralleled the bible verse quoted at the beginning of this blog. A bunch of big grandiose things happen: earthquakes, hurricanes, and fires. Yet, in none of these Michael Bay level disasters is God to be found. Lastly Elijah feels a gentle breeze, or in some texts, a tiny whisper, and in it, Elijah is wrapped in God’s mantle. Imagine it, feeling covered in God’s presence as though someone is wrapping a huge blanket around you.

I now know exactly what this verse is talking about.

I looked for something based on the the big, on the grandiose, on the overly romantic, on the Hollywood-ized version of marriage. I think I forgot what marriage is really about in our Catholic faith: two people united with God. In that moment when I proposed, I was experiencing God in the small, and I am glad that he was there to share it with Tracy and I. I have a good feeling in all the hub-bub of a fireworks show I may have forgotten to invite Him.

I have decided to learn to take this amazing vacation, and engagement with Tracy to be a new call for me to be aware of a simple fact, and make it a crucial part of my life.

God is in the small things.

There are so many examples all around us of God’s presence in the small things: time with friends, meals with family, drinking coffee and reading with a friend, or fellowship with Cross+Trainers. Yet, there seems to be a philosophy that we need to experience extravagance and largeness to be complete: get a sweet ride, wear awesome clothes, go on big vacations, throw big parties. If anything I have learned that the list of small things brings me much more happiness and peace than any large grand thing ever could. Just as Jesus was a Paschal Lamb and not the grandiose warrior savior, as all the people expected him to be, we need to look for the simple things in life and see God’s presence there.

God is in the small things.

-Jim Herold

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